Last edited: 19 April 2024
Content warning: Internalized ableism, traumatic events, and allusions to suicide.
I have Bipolar Disorder Type 2. I still have so much to learn about me and my neurodivergent brain. I'm still in the phase of combating internalized ableism. This page lists all myths about bipolar disorder that I thought were true and caused me to doubt that I have bipolar disorder. There are more myths than these but there are the ones that I have personally knew.
I'm not a doctor by the way and this can't serve as medical advice.
Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition where one experiences series of mania and depression. Mania being the overly energetic phase and depression being the low mood phase accompanied. This is type 1. I have type 2. Type 2 means we experiences hypomania instead of mania, less severe but it can affect life just as much.
This is written in my own perspective when I was having depression. Especially in times before I got diagnosed and therefore, I wasn't able to think that there's something wrong with me.
It sucks. It felt like I'm insignificant in this world. Hell, I felt like the world is better without me. Why the hell do I make so much mistakes. I kept asking these questions.
I'm so so happy these thoughts came to an end. I have bipolar disorder and it makes me feel these stuff. It's not my mistake, it's my condition. Sure, it affects me like I'm unable to finish things on time. Time is my enemy. But I don't have to be perfect. It's fine to be average.
Depression being the sucky part, I assumed mania is the not sucky part, seeing them as polar opposites. Oh how naive this is. Mania and hypomania isn't pure bliss. In my case, hypomania is mixed in with anxiety.
I remember experiencing hypomanic episode but I'm unable to recognize it all because I recognize I'm having anxiety as well. I thought I can't be hypomanic. Well I'm wrong, I can have anxiety during hypomania.
Nope! Before and after mania and depression, there's a phase where one feel neither manic nor depressed. I suppose this is obvious. Of course when moving from one to another, one has to pass the midpoint.
What led me to believe this is the case is maybe due to how the articles about bipolar disorder emphasizes the mania and depression and not the phases in between. Well, I guess there's not much to say about those phases.
Like I said, I'm still learning about my condition. Who knows, I might give this page an update in the future.
And I hope you find these things interesting. Have a good day!